I don’t know yet, but another thing that is changing is equity.  I’ve been renting & paying some strangers’ mortgage for far too long.  Thankfully, I’m in the position to get some help purchasing a home.  I’m in the process of looking for some new digs, and things are looking pretty promising.  I don’t know when this house will be sold, but I do know that we need to go soon.  Time to plan the exit strategy…

Although things have pretty much stabilized in the last few years, and my material life fairly luxurious, my life had become routine.  I don’t feel like I was stuck in a rut, but it felt a bit…routine.  I’m sure part of that is because I’m a relative homebody, but something has changed, things are happening.  It’s not as if I lack a social life, I have plenty of friends, and with friends like mine, who needs enemies?

I just wanted to say that something is brewing.  I’m not done yet, there’s still a lot I want from this life.

I think it’s because working Monday through Friday has conditioned me to enjoy what precious little free time I have on the weekends, and Monday is the ugly reminder that a whole week of work and toil lays before me, like some ominous raincloud, or some other fitting analogy.

I’m trying to reform myself, to not hate Mondays as much.  But it’s hard, and today was no exception.  All too often, I find myself looking at the clock (always a bad idea), hoping against hope that those two hands swing around to read, “5:00″.  Alas, I’ve another 22 minutes before that self-fulfilling prophecy becomes truth.  See you.

We don’t play for big stakes, usually twenty bucks a night. Most of us have been playing together for so long now that we all know each others tells and habits. One crucial element for a good game is the soundtrack.

Wayne-O has an awesome Bose iPod dock that he’ll bring to our games. It’s a matter of pride to have your playlist chosen to play during the game. Lately Wayne-O has been stepping up his game and brings some big tunes for our enjoyment. Or so I thought. Another friend who usually drives over with Wayne is Adam. Adam spins dancehall and reggae weekly. He is an imposing figure to play music for. He has all of the good stuff, he knows his craft. And heavy is the head that wears the crown. While Adam used to rule the roost with his iPod classic, the rest of us have been trying to step up and represent what we can bring to the table, so to speak. It’s often the occasion that Wayne-O will get reprimanded for skipping a good track, or playing it too softly, or even playing it at all.

Sometimes I feel for Wayne-O, but little do they know that I’ve been quietly making my poker playlist. It’s a crafty blend of roots reggae, 90′s music, and some mellow jazz that I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to turn my friends onto. It’s funny to see the reactions of my friends, but it’s usually the case that you can’t please everyone. I’m shooting for a 100% positive response for this new one. Stay tuned.

The other half is following. It’s a trip that people are even interested in what I have to say. It’s crazy to see the kind of popularity that celebrities have, especially Ashton Kucher. He could probably stage a coup d’etat of the United States if he wanted. In either case, I’m fascinated by the minutiae of daily life. I’m constantly finding interesting people to follow, and find myself pleasantly surprised when interesting people follow me. Ego check!

So there we have it. I am plugged the fuck in. I’ve been thinking about just stepping back a bit, and unplugging for a spell. Might be good.

My grandmother was the bedrock, the foundation of our family. It’s where we went for Thanksgiving, and new years…My grandfather had passed away before I was born, and now that the last Sugita is gone, only the third generation of my paternal family remains.  She died at the age of ninety four.

A few days after, my father, my two uncles, and the rest of us went to her apartment to clean it out.  It’s an odd feeling to pack away somebody’s entire existence after they’re gone.  It felt intrusive, like I was invading the privacy of her life.  It made me wonder what people would think about my own life, were I to die unexpectedly.  And now that I think of it, I’d feel pretty uncomfortable about my family going through my belongings.

The funeral was very somber, and it was interesting to meet distant relatives whom I’d never met before, or couldn’t remember meeting because I was too young.  It made me sad to think that the generation of my grandparents are all passing on.  I suppose that is the nature of time, and afterall, death is a natural part of life.  Still, it was a blessing, and a rare occassion to see so many relatives in the same place, at the same time.  I could sense that my father was a bit uncomfortable, but I learned a lot about my grandmother, and it was moving to hear these words from people I didn’t know.  I learned about the history of my family, and it humbles me to think that I am part of this massive clan, which can trace it’s roots back to the Heian era of eleventh century Japan.  I had always thought my ancestors were farmers, or in agriculture, due to the name of my paternal family, Kiwada.  Never would I have guessed that the ancestors of my grandmother were nobility, Samurai even.  It doesn’t mean much these days, but it’s significant to me because I studied ancient Japanese literature for a semester, during which I read about a battle my ancestors actually took part in.  I never knew about my family back then, so it never seemed as significant as it does now.  All of this makes me wish I knew more about the history of my family, and where I came from…

The ashes of my grandmother are buried under the shade of a massive tree in Nu’uanu, next to the ashes of my grandfather.  A few aisles away is a headstone for my greatgrandfather, who is actually buried in Japan.  It was nice to see the Sugita crest shining brightly in the morning sunlight…Afterwards, we met for lunch at the country club.  My father had brought along all of the cards and letters of condolences with him, where I had a chance to read them over lunch.  It really made me happy that my grandmother had reached so many peoples’ lives.  It kind of gave me a welcome sense of closure to this tumultous time.

Now that life has resumed some semblance of normality, I’ve had time to think about my grandfathers family, which I know nothing about.  My grandmothers family has an illustrious past, which is surprisingly well documented, and photographed.  It makes me wish that I knew more about the family my paternal grandfather came from.  I am the last of the Kiwada bloodline outside of Japan.  As such, the burden of the name carrying on lies with me, and I don’t intend to let it die out.  I’ve got to find out more of my families’ history before it does.

It’s such a process, moving.  I had to get an early start with the cleaning because I always feel like I’m taking stock of my life when I move.  One big pile of stuff I want to keep.  One big pile of stuff I want to throw away.  The majority of the work is sorting really, but that’s half the fun.  I love finding things I had lost ages ago and totally forgot about.  Like my second grade journal I had stashed in my closet.  It’s really easy to see why moving is such a painstaking process for myself.  Luckily, we weren’t moving very far, so it wasn’t very difficult to bring the stuff over with a truck we rented.

The last day before I handed the keys back over, I went down to the house to make sure everything was done.  Although we had left our mark on the place, it was kinda sad seeing the house so empty.  We had all been staying at the new house for a while now, and it had been a really long time since I had seen it that clean.  It was like all the life had been sucked out of it, and got transplanted elsewhere.  I took some pictures and said goodbye to our neighboors who had been so kind to us over the years.  Parting is such sweet sorrow!

So my life has returned back to that familliar routine of school, work, and sleep.  I like our new place, it’s a clean slate, a fresh start to the year.  My rent is a lot cheaper, and I can breathe once again.  Eight hundred a month was kinda exorbiant.  I’m loving it already.  Here’s to new beginnings.

About two minutes later, I was blown away by the sheer number of older, geriatric Japanese people, who had the guts to attempt the twenty-six grueling miles.  Most of them were old enough to be my grandparents.  It finally occurred to me that these people had flown all the way over from Japan, to test themselves on streets I’d never run recreationally on.

I had to appreciate the moment.  These people were out there, enjoying life to the fullest…Living!  I should have been out there with them this morning.  But instead I was at home, asleep in my bed, dreaming about yesterday.  Next year will be different though, and I want to be at that starting line next year.  Life is just too short, I can sleep when I’m dead.  Hell, if they could do it…

Now go return all that water and toilet paper you selfishly purchased for yourselves, you gullible suckers.  Shame on you.  Next time, try wait for the earthquake to happen first.  Either that, or learn to think for yourselves before you flood the stores, fighting to get your hands on supplies you didn’t even need. Baaaa!

It wasn’t that long ago before digital service was available.  The best you had was the newspaper, if there was something you planned to see.  And even then, it only told you what was playing that day.  Hell, there were only like…forty channels, tops.  Now it’s total information overload, I love it.  I mean, we got the freakin’ Soap Opera Network.  I wouldn’t be caught dead watching that channel, but yeah, we got it good these days, make no mistake about it.  So BFD if my cable info craps out, I should be grateful for what we have.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.